John 1:1 --- In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
This morning got off to a slow start. It was tough to concentrate and get focused in prayer and even more so in trying to journey forward in the Word.
I read verse one and instantly the word, "WORD", jumped out!
Amazing, Awesome, then CLINK, CLINK, CLINK, KACHUNK, KACHUNK, CLUNK…
And that was the sound of the gears in my brain turning, then struggling, and finally locking up. Followed by smoke coming out my ears and Luke Skywalker's voice whining out, "Uncle Owen, this R2 Unit has a bad motivator." So, I read the chapter again, read the verse again, read multiple commentaries, read historical info, and I just felt stuck.
After thirty minutes I finally became so frustrated, I went back to prayer, back to Him and laid my struggle out. I was instantly confronted that I was trying to approach the Bible today in my strength and understanding, thinking about how to explain and discuss what "Word" is, instead of simply seeking Him in it. Aha! Okay this would make sense why there was no flow, no peace, no progress, because I'd benched Holy Spirit and took to the court myself.
Now, anyone who knows me knows I'm a huge context person. It's my quirk to want to understand roots and foundation of where things came from, where they're at, and how it affects where they go. So, I pressed into talking with the Lord more. I mean just yesterday I was really resolving to simply seek and follow Jesus in the book of John, so why 24 hours later am I taking over to do it on my own? I asked Him about it and once again I was instantly confronted. This time I could see a tiny, very deeply hidden anxiety of needing to explain this concept just right intellectually. The light came on as this was the root of my struggle! I wasn't looking for Him in it, I was looking for myself and how I could make sure I explained this exactly right so that whomever on Facebook/Instagram/Web, would know what I was saying, etc…
So, with good old Philippians 4:6-7 squarely in mind, I quickly handed that anxiousness over to Him and turned it into thankfulness for Him so quickly pointing out this tiny seed so it could be dealt with quickly. Now, of course it also turned my entire quiet time and recap into another one of these times of being transparent and obedient to share. Hopefully, it shows walking with the Lord every day can have struggles, challenges, and trip ups and that's okay. It's about recognizing it, taking it to Him, and knowing He is always right there. Just like Jesus was within reaching distances of Peter when he started sinking into the water. I'm so glad it's about Him and not me.
Okay, I've talked and talked so it's time to stop. I've had the joy of testing positive for Covid today, but I thank the Lord above I have had no fever or anything bad. Only tired, lots of congestion, with a nice side of non-stop runny nose.
Have a blessed weekend. If you need prayer, need to talk, or just need someone to listen, please message me on FB, Instagram, or contact me through the website: https://www.jesusccc.com/.
Kommentarer